9 DEALBREAKERS FOR WOMEN
Dec 2011 08

Here are 9 deal breakers from a woman’s perspective — from Madamenoire via E Harmony.

1. He’s more interested in his gadgets

Women want a man to notice when she walks in the room and acknowledge her in an affectionate way. When a man can’t even look up for his game of Madden, or current battle on halo, it’s time to call a baby sitter and take a hike. Games are fun, yes, but aren’t you more fun?

2. Wandering eye

Most men notice other women, but if your man gets whiplash from watching pretty girls stroll by, then either he needs a lesson in subtlety or it’s time for you to re-think the relationship. After all, if he’s at the table with you, aren’t you supposed to have his attention? It’s a definite deal breaker if a woman feels insecure or not good enough around her man. Relationships should lift you up, not put you down.

3. Tries too hard

Personality is a huge part of finding a connection with a man. Often times men try to impress women with their ability to recite every word from their favorite, current blockbuster and show off their “come back” skills. Sure, that can be cute for a little while, but if every simple questions is met with, “That’s what she said!” or “Stay classy, San Diego!”, than chances are he can’t think of anything thoughtful to say.

4. Infidelity

In the same eHarmony study listed earlier, infidelity was the fourth most common “can’t stand” for women and the sixth most common response for men. Whether it happened in his previous relationship or 5 years ago, it’s an immediate red flag if cheating is in his past. One of the biggest fears about jumping into a relationship in the first place is the possibility of infidelity and heart break, especially for women. If he has a speckled past in this department, most women walk away before their heart is added to the list.

5. Brags too much

It’s great to be financially stable and even wealthy, but money is not everything. A healthy relationship is built on love, compassion, respect and honesty, not a stack of bills. It’s great to find a man who is passionate about providing and is successful, but if more than 50% of your conversation is about his bank account, new car, latest lavish vacation, or real estate endeavors, then chances are he’s more interested in those things, than you.

6. Obsesses over his ex

There’s nothing wrong with discussing past relationships after two or three dates. But if he launches into a monologue about his recent devastating break-up two minutes after you meet, or drops his former lover’s name into every other sentence (“Wow! Laura liked pasta, too…”), chances are he’s not ready for a new girlfriend yet. Why waste your time with him when you could be out with a man who actually wants to be with you?

7. Rudeness

This is very different from a sarcastic personality and if often embarrassing and therefore a big deal breaker for most women. Sure, if your food comes out cold and you ask to speak with a manager, that’s just being proactive and speaking up, great. But speaking down to the waitress or getting to angry over small situations are not qualities most women look for in a boyfriend or spouse.

  • You have to imagine that this same rude behavior will, if it hasn’t already, filter into your relationship and how your man treats you.

8. Drugs

If you are dating someone with a substance dependency, you already know the dangers and problems that creep into your relationship. Drugs can often be placed too high on a user’s priority list and therefore money is sucked into the addiction. Typically people with a dependency of drugs are not motivated individuals and tend to think less of providing for you, and potentially a family, and more about when is the next time they can get high.

9. Poor hygiene

Sure, at first it’s kinda funny that your man might just throw a hat on his greasy hair, or have a typical messy room, but after a while most women site this as a sure fire deal breaker. Nobody wants to cozy up next to a smelly sweatshirt and dirty hair at the movie theater. And on top of that, if brushing his teeth is not high on his list, chances are your desire to smooch his smelly mouth will deteriorate, along with his teeth. Women want a man who presents himself well and cares about his cleanliness and appearance.

7 WAYS TO KEEP MONEY FROM RUINING YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Nov 2011 30

Money. It causes more fights than household chores and is often cited as one of the main causes of divorce. Don’t let money ruin your relationship. Check out these 7 tips of how to ward off financial drama — via Madamenoire.com.

1. Don’t blame

  • Debt can be overpowering, you work all month just to dig yourself deeper in debt, increasing stress, which leads to fighting that can destroy your relationship and your happiness. Remember that the enemy is not your spouse or boyfriend; the enemy is your debt. Blaming your spouse, your parents or your boss will not fix your problems. The debt fairy is not coming. It is time to stop complaining and get to work on your current situation.

2. Live within your means

  • Whether you are worth millions or make a modest salary, you need to live within your means. For the average American, there are simple and proven techniques that work. One example is to stop wasting thousands of dollars each month on food you don’t need. Eat every item in your fridge and pantry before you go shopping and you will save thousands each month.

3. Work at home life too

  • Work as hard at your home life as you do at the office! Set aside time completely devoted to your husband and kids, or boyfriend. Don’t take business calls or even think about business. This not only reminds you how much you love each other but will recharge your batteries so you are itching to go back to work to kick butt and provide. If your main focus in life is money you will surely end up unfulfilled and unhappy.

4. Don’t lie

  • A poll recently commissioned by ForbesWomen showed that 31% of Americans lie to their spouses about money. This is the fastest way to sabotage your relationship. Sit down with each other, figure out where you can trim back and set goals for yourselves. Money should not tear you apart. If you are open and honest with each other, you can overcome these issues together and it can actually make you stronger by eliminating unnecessary financial stress.

5. Create a monthly budget

  • Do a monthly budget together to keep money problems from ruining your marriage. Sit down with your paychecks, bills, and lists of wants and make a detailed written budget so that you know where every dollar goes. It is really easy to do. Make a list of things that need to be paid first. Next should be house payment/rent, food, utilities, clothing, gas, savings for an emergency fund, and childcare (if necessary). If you have any left over, that should go to pay debt, start an emergency fund, or to do a few fun things with it.

6. Set up an emergency fund

  • As mentioned earlier, starting an emergency fund is a very smart thing to create as a couple. Try to have a few months expenses saved up so that if something happens, like a job loss, you won’t have the stress of scarping together money to live on. It will be there in the bank waiting for you and therefore help keep the stress of money problems from invading your relationship.

7. Set financial goals together

  • What do you want to accomplish as a couple? Do you need to pay down debt? Save for a house? Once you have a common goal in mind, you will be able to keep each other on track with your agreed-upon budget. Also establish ground rules together, such as consulting each other before a large purchase. This generally is a rule for married couples, but its smart for couples who are dating to get used to communicating their own spending habits to each other.

Interracial Relationships: Video Claims Black Women Are To Blame For The Shortage Of Good Black Men
Mar 2011 12

Top 10: Ways To Attract Hot Women (by david deangelo of askmen.com)
Mar 2011 08

I never stop hearing it: Guys think that it takes movie-star looks and rock-star money to attract hot women. The sad truth is, most guys have no clue what it really takes to attract hot women — or they’d already be doing it. Check out the top 10 ways to attract hot women. Get the “total 10” of your dreams to look your way in the first place, and then start to feel the kind of attraction that can make your dreams come true.

No.10 Get A Track Record
Hot women are competitive, way more than so-called “regular” women. When an extremely attractive woman discovers that you have things going on with other women, it increases her interest in a big way. In fact, the No. 1 thing that men who are successful with hot women have in common is a busy dating life. Hot women find that kind of challenge irresistible, so first and foremost do what it takes to start getting lots of dates with great, “regular” women.

No.9 Be A Man Of Mystery
We’re not talking Austin Powers here. This means never lay out your life story the moment you meet a hot woman. Not only does it kill the anticipation and leave nothing left to reveal later, it may also prove to her that you’re not the kind of man she wants to be with. In fact, hold some stuff back, especially the best stuff. She’ll be way more impressed (and new sparks of attraction will fly) when she “discovers” them on her own.

No.8 Prove You’re A Gentleman
Showing a woman that you’re a gentleman is a powerful way to stand out from the crowd, and the smallest gestures go a very long way. Open a door for her and pull out a chair. Make sure you walk on the outside of the sidewalk. Put your hand on the small of her back when walking into a restaurant or across the street. You won’t believe how quickly these small things set you apart from 99% of other guys.

No.7 Don’t Be A Creep
Sounds obvious, right? Hot women are constantly dodging creepy guys, so make sure you don’t come off like one. The best way: Make sure you don’t sweat the small stuff; fixate on imagined slights or get honest about an unreturned text message. When it come to attracting hot women, it’s even more important to give the impression you’re too busy to even care if she pings you back. Plus, when you lie back and stay cool, she’ll assume you’re busy with other women.

No.6 Be A Man With A Plan
Hot women love a man with a plan. So when you try to attract one, know by heart exactly what you’re going to say and do ahead of time. Above all, never ask her to start making decisions. Make like James Bond and let her know exactly where you want to take her, what time you want to pick her up, and what she should wear. Let her be blown away by the way you’ve planned for every possible contingency and have taken care of every little detail.

No.5 Get Creative
Beautiful women get offers all day long. So when you approach one, be original. Be creative: Offer up fun things to do that she doesn’t keep hearing from other guys. Try a bike ride or suggest playing Frisbee in the park. Or, how about a tiny Italian cafe that has a fascinating story behind it? Tell her you want to sneak her up to the top floor of a skyscraper, or take her to a playground and go on the swings. Get creative — you’ll get her excited, guaranteed.

No.4 Make Her Work For It
People don’t value what they don’t have to work for — and it’s never more true than with hot women. If you’re at her beck and call, doing what she wants all the time, she won’t value or appreciate you, and soon she’ll be gone. Period. So, be unpredictable and a bit hard to please. Make sure she’s calling you as much (if not more) than you’re calling her. Ask her to help you out with small favors. The more work she puts in, the more she’ll “want it,” and that includes sex.

No.3 Go For It
Once you see that a hot woman’s noticed you, do not leave her hanging. Hot women have guys coming at them from every direction, all the time, and they’ll move on quickly from a guy who doesn’t have the guts to go for that first kiss (or anything else). Be a man and make your move; it’ll prove to her that you’re the type of confident, powerful man she’s looking for.

No.2 Keep Her Guessing
One of the biggest mistakes men make to blow it with hot women is being completely predictable. Guess what? That instantly kills the main two things that all women are desperately searching for: excitement and anticipation. So, in order to attract hot women, mix things up and keep her guessing. Don’t always call when you say you will. Go here instead of there. Do this instead of that. Get the picture? Keep her guessing and you’ll have no problem keeping her attention.

No.1 Don’t Be Desperate
Championship coaches tell their winning players: “Act like you’ve been here before.” That’s exactly what you need to do with hot women. The best way to lose one is to get possessive and desperate and start calling her 10 times a day. And if you start acting like you’re ready for marriage after the first date — or even the fifth — you might as well have the words “I’m desperate” tattooed across your forehead.

How To Remove Toxic Friends From Your Life
Mar 2011 04

You may not get to pick your family but at least you can pick your friends. So take advantage of this. Many people feel they are stuck with toxic friends but it is simply not true. It isn’t easy, but you have the power to choose who your friends are. There are many different types of people you gravitate towards you as your friends for all sorts of different reasons. These friends could be good for certain times of your lives but not necessarily good for other times. People change, friends change, and this includes you as well. You have the right to have healthy friends and are not obligated to keep around toxic friends just because you have a history with them. The following steps will attempt to guide you to identify and drift away from friends who toxify your life.

One question to ask yourself after you spend time with a friend who may be toxic is, “How do I feel after I am done hanging out with my friend?” If your answer is exhausted, relieved, frustrated, and depressed then you may have a toxic friend. Life is too short to surround yourself with people that don’t add to your life in a positive way.
Life is already stressful enough, so why keep toxic friends who add even more stress to your life. Toxic friends are those people in your life who always have drama in their lives and either get you involved or constantly need to talk about their lives and not yours. This is a very one-sided relationship.
Don’t be afraid to say no. If someone doesn’t accept your first answer, they don’t respect you. So if your toxic friend is requiring more than you are willing to offer, it’s time to politely say no or decline whatever request they have. If they ask why and want an explanation, just remember this-you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. No means no. I just can’t means; I just can’t. They will eventually get the point.
Stop worrying what your toxic friend might think about you. If they don’t respect you, they are not worth worrying about.
Slowing drifting away from toxic friends is often the least painful way to end these types of friendships. Whether you need to become more engaged in your work, hobbies, or family, it’s up to you, but remember; your time is valuable so spend it with those who recognize that.
Sometimes you just have to make a clean break depending on the toxic friend you are dealing with. If your toxic friend is wreaking havoc on your mental well-being, it’s time to just be blunt and put an end to the friendship. Nobody wants to have to end a friendship and there really isn’t a pleasant way to do it. You might start with not returning the phone calls and claiming you are busy. If they don’t get the hint and confront you about it or pressure you, tell them you don’t want to continue the friendship due to the stress it has added to your life. Unless they want to change some things that are affecting your life negatively, then you can’t continue with the friendship.
Focus on the people in your life who do respect your boundaries and who aren’t toxic for your life.

 

Once you can create healthy boundaries in your life, toxic friends won’t be able to find their way in.

 

Written by skygal, ehow member

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